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EFT Trauma Help Center
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Do You Know What 'White Picket Fence Trauma' is? Find Out Below In... 'My Personal Soft Trauma Story'
Soft Trauma vs. Hard Trauma
Soft trauma (also known as ‘little ‘t’ trauma) is very common in many of today’s societies. This type of trauma is often at the root of a myriad of emotional and physical
conditions such as; depression, anxiety, weight issues, addictions, low self-esteem, chronic pain, digestive issues, auto-immune conditions, compulsive eating, relationship challenges, financial struggles etc.
Here is an excellent definition of soft trauma by an internationally known expert in the area of trauma;
“When people talk about trauma the first thing you think of is a natural disaster or maybe a car accident or the house burning down and those are in fact trauma – they’re considered hard Traumas (or big ‘T’ traumas). You could actually pinpoint a date and time that this event affected your life.
But what’s more pervasive in most cultures is called soft traumas... which are traumatic experiences we have over prolonged periods of time and we are not even aware of them.
If we grew up in a family where the mother and father argued a great deal and it felt unsafe to the children or maybe there was substance abuse (alcohol, illegal and/or prescription drugs, sugar, caffeine, food etc.) in the family or if there was financial strain and the parents argued as a result if this, the children may have grown up feeling very unsafe and fearful most of the time.
This is considered soft trauma because it can still have the same effects as a hard trauma… like the person lives with perpetual anxiety, they’re constantly irritated or withdrawn, they have difficulty sleeping, they might have nightmares or disturbing memories. All of these are symptoms of both soft and hard trauma.” ~ Dr David Berceli, Trauma Expert
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Related EFT Resources
Top EFT Trauma Approach: Matrix Reimprinting
This advanced tapping approach is like running the EFT Movie Technique on 'jet fuel'! Childhood and teen trauma is common to all of us. Even if it was 50 years ago, this tapping method is brilliant for resolving past trauma and especially the drip, drip, drip type of soft (little 't') trauma. EFT / Matrix Reimprinting is also great for discovering and transforming hidden and pre-conscious memories.
EFT Matrix Reimprinting
Learn to Tap on 'Soft' Trauma Causing Memories: 'How to' EFT Tapping Guide
Using the EFT Movie Technique to tap on trauma causing negative memories and stressful past events can be quite effective however, it can be difficult technique to do by our self. Here's an easy-to-learn/do alternative:
EFT Tell a Story Technique
Low Self Esteem / Confidence From Trauma: EFT Can Help
Lack of self-confidence is often a direct result of soft or little 't' trauma. EFT can help however boosting self-confidence with EFT can be tricky. The right tapping approach needs to be used! Learn why the EFT Basic Recipe falls short when it comes to improving self-esteem, and discover the best tapping techniques to use. Let yourself shine!
EFT Self Esteem - Self Confidence Help
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Dr Berceli's statement is an important one because it helps to normalize and broaden the definition of trauma. Soft trauma is like a ‘drip, drip, drip’ accumulation of a lot of similar 'mini' traumas that add up to create one big disturbance/block or trauma capsule* in our body’s energy system! I doubt that there is single one of us who has escaped the effects of soft trauma, although each of us has been exposed to it in varying degrees. (* a term coined by trauma expert, Dr Robert Scaer)
My Personal Soft Trauma Story
I grew up with my share of soft (or little 't') trauma in a family that experienced substance abuse (alcohol, cigarettes, prescription drugs, food/sugar), arguments/conflict, control issues, serious health issues (father), emotional and physical abandonment, financial struggles, gambling and divorce (I was 8 years old when my parents split up). Looks like I made it into almost every area of soft trauma that Dr Berceli describes above!
The interesting thing was, our family looked normal, even pretty functional to those on the outside (neighbours, acquaintances and school chums). I didn't even realize that there was anything 'un-normal' or dysfunctional about my childhood environment until years later, when this subtle, yet pervasive form of trauma began to sabotage my adult life! I came up with another name for this... I call it 'White Picket Fence Trauma', where everything looks pretty good (normal) from the outside... but on the inside, things are quite messed up!
"I didn't even realize that there was anything 'un-normal' or dysfunctional about my childhood environment until years later, when this subtle, yet pervasive form of trauma began to sabotage my adult life! I came up with another name for this... I call it 'White Picket Fence Trauma', where everything looks pretty good (normal) from the outside... but on the inside, things are quite messed up!"
The negative effects of this soft trauma from childhood began to physically manifest in my life around the age of 30. That's when I found myself under a mountain of debt, a 'pack-a-day' cigarette and coffee addiction and was in a dysfunctional relationship with a 'white picket fence' alcoholic. Oh yes, 'like attracts like' for sure!
On top of that, I had workaholic tendencies and was 30 pounds overweight due to a serious compulsive eating habit which along with the smoking, caffeine and overworking, was my best attempt to dampen
my emotional pain, overwhelm and chronic worry. Yes, you guessed it... I did not have EFT tapping back then! :o)
This was my vibrational low point... my dark night of the soul! Then, in 1998 I'd had enough and
decided to end this vicious cycle of despair, dependency, self destruction and denial! I set out to discover and really heal the negative effects of the hidden or 'white picket fence' trauma from my childhood and teen years.
I say 'really heal', because up to that point, I had read a ton of self-help books (I owned 100's... maybe even a 1000!), listened to countless audios and attended many seminars in order to try to
figure out why I was in so much emotional pain and had these terribly stressful physical manifestations in my life; debt, constant money worries, weight gain, health issues, addictions, career struggles and big time relationship challenges!
I was a total help-self junkie and now I see that this was simply another addiction or distraction -- a way to stay in my head. I mulled things over and over in my mind, instead of dealing
with the blocked energy and heavy emotions that I had stored away in my body and personal energy field (a.k.a the Matrix). I'm not suggesting that reading and learning is bad, but as with all things, we need to have a balance and I was completely out of balance!
In the late 90's I put down the self-help books/audios and set off on my inner healing journey. I didn't have a map nor could I see any road signs that said, "Personal peace and transformation... THIS WAY!" I just had my intuition and a very strong desire to have more emotional freedom in my life. As a new student of the 'Law of Attraction', I realized that going down this inner path was the only way I would be able to permanently change my outer life for the better. I was learning that my vibration or point of attraction was causing all of this 'negative stuff' to show up in my life!
Money was very limited at the time, but I realized how important the journey I was about to embark on was, and I made a commitment to channel all of my spare financial resources towards my dream of personal transformation. I put vacations on hold and anything else above and beyond the most basic of necessities. I stopped buying self-help books and even used up some of my savings (retirement funds). Now I see that this was the best investment of time and money that I have ever made! One that keeps on giving back to me in so many incredibly positive and surprising ways!
"Now I see that this was the best investment of time and money that I have ever made! One that keeps on giving back to me in so many incredibly positive and surprising ways!"
By 2001 I had completed the bulk of my 'family of origin' work with a wonderful Energy Coach and Mentor. She used a powerful Matrix Reimprinting 'like’ technique called, Core Belief Restructuring. Actually, it really amazes me how similar these two energy healing modalities are. I suppose this is why I am so drawn to work with
Matrix Reimprinting Using EFT (MR), so I can help others transform their lives too!
With the aid of my energy coach and working on my own between sessions (I learned how important self-care/homework is), I was able to transform/heal many of the ‘key’ childhood memories/events and negative core beliefs that resulted from my early life soft trauma. Towards the end of this personal renovation period (2002) I experienced a complete turnaround in every area of my life; career, finances, health and relationships. Several friends even said I looked younger... now that was a very nice bonus! So, instead of having a surgical face lift, I had an emotional weight lift! :o)
I did this inner-work prior to my EFT days. I feel if I'd known about energy/meridian tapping back then, this transformation would have been faster. However, I honour my journey and how it has helped me to become the person and EFT / MR practitioner I am today!
Even though, the majority of the bigger energetic blocks and negative core beliefs (I call them emotional boulders) are pretty much gone from my life, I still practice Self-Care Tapping (EFT Short Cut and Simple Tapping Techniques / STTs) for relief from everyday stress and emotional ups-and-downs (emotional sand and gravel).
And I continue to work on resolving and transforming deeper issues/blocks in my life (these days they are more like emotional rocks than boulders :o) with MR. To me life is more about the journey than it is about reaching some destination. I have discovered that there is no need to fix myself, because I am not broken or defective. Like all human beings, I am a work in progress and I will continue to learn, grow and evolve until the day I leave this planet!
I do Matrix Reimprinting by myself, however I only use it with the less emotionally stressful issues. When it comes to the bigger things (especially trauma), I prefer to have the support of a MR Practitioner. This way I can really focus on the issue at hand while feeling safe/supported. It is wonderful to benefit from the objectivity, wisdom and guidance of another. Plus, healing energy multiplies exponentially when there is more than one!
In the last 10 years, I have experienced much more health, joy and abundance! And every year gets better and better... as I tap, tap, tap each day for emotional relief and continue to work on resolving deeper issues/blocks with
Matrix Reimprinting!
I wish this kind of emotional freedom and abundance for you. Especially if you are experiencing any physical or emotional symptoms (anxiety, depression, serious illness, fatigue/sleep issues, financial struggles, ongoing weight issues, relationship challenges etc.) as a result of soft and/or hard trauma from your childhood and/or teen years.
I wish you peace. Karen
P.S. Using EFT for trauma (soft or hard), is an important topic! I plan to produce more on this subject in the near future. If you'd like to find out when brand new information appears on my web site, you can subscribe to the 'Free Email Alerts' (see below).
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Related Pages:
♦ ♦ Anxiety Often Results From Trauma, EFT Can Help
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How to Get Specific: Tapping on Negative Memories
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Resolve Trauma with Matrix Reimprinting Using EFT
♦ ♦ EFT Not Working?
♦ ♦ EFT Index (a - z EFT topics)
© 2006 to Present. Karen Nauman - TapIntoEFT.com All rights reserved.
This 'EFT Trauma' Article was Written by Karen Nauman: Karen is an EFT Practitioner (EFT Cert-I Gary Craig, Level 3 David Rourke, EFT Master Practitioner), trained
EFT Matrix Reimprinting Practitioner, Nlp Practitioner and a
NGH Board Certified Hypnotherapist. Since 1987, she has been an avid personal development, self help and natural remedy enthusiast. She writes and speaks about alternative health and wellness topics. Karen gained a tremendous amount of experience and expertise while specializing in weight loss, emotional eating, stress reduction, anxiety and depression at a busy Hypnotherapy, Hypnosis and Nlp clinic in Toronto, Ontario Canada.
www.TapIntoEFT.com "Tap into a better you... with EFT!"
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